I Am Numb.
As I walk along this familiar path heading home, passing by our usual bookstore, our favourite coffee shop, the restaurant where we regularly have dinner, I staggered from the sudden pain I felt.
I knew the floodgates would open. As I walked past each one of them, tears threatened to fall.
And they did fall. My heart cries. My heart cries out for you.
Everything turned into a blur. And for a moment, I let the feelings overwhelm me.
For a moment, I let the salt wash off the mask I wear.
The glitter of the lights were no match to the darkness I felt. The chill that is splitting my soul into pieces. There are only shadows. Only the cold within me.
And then I remember I was walking along a highly bustling street and I was embarrassing myself.
As I hurriedly wipe away the sadness from my eyes, I realise the crowd around me has not noticed. And I realised I wasn’t the only one crying.
The sky wept with me, and engulf me in a soothing downpour.
I smiled as I look up the sky.
For once the coldness I felt was outside. Not within.
Soon, my spirit started to lift. I felt numb again. I raced into a puddle and let out a laugh.
The shadows looked at me like I had a nose growing on my forehead.
All of them, but one. Someone looked on with a smile of amusement.
He was a wee child. I felt the warmth of his smile and it crept slowly within me. He reminded me of my Haven, and my Ash.
The lights started to twinkle again.
And I knew, right there, that I will be fine.