Letter From The Ghost of Joiz Past

This was taken out of my real journal (yeah, I have one, got a problem with that?). The names were changed to keep my friend’s identity somehow under the radar. I don’t remember when I wrote this entry exactly because I didn’t put a date on the page. I do know this entry was written sometime mid-2010, so that isn’t so long ago.

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Dear future Joiz,

I’m writing you this to remind us of how you were when you were just 25 years old. I/we/you don’t know how to refer to ourselves, so for consistency’s sake, “you” will be used.

Now, when you were 25 years old, you were working at the office as a web administrator (and considering a career that is more in tune with designing), your daughter is in love with the movie: “How to Train Your Dragon” and has watched it for more or less 8 times today; you have a problem with your toe right now too & has been limping for a few days now. You are also still in love with your best friend.

Yes, you are still in love/infatuated/too far gone with … we’ll call him James, you are willing to give up dating other guys for James. You are even trying to convince yourself that you can tell him the truth soon.

I don’t know how old we will be when you get to read this again, but I trust that by the time you do:

  1. You have already confessed the truth to him and things worked out well. And by well, it means you’re still friends.
  2. He has figured it out for himself, he has realized you weren’t joking, acknowledged your feelings without you making the first move and your relationship has hopefully leveled up
  3. You have been able to move past James and has opened yourself to other possibilities.

Right now I think James is great. The chemistry’s there; you’re comfortable together; he has his flaws and they’re tolerable; you have your issues and he seems to tolerate them as well. James feels good for you, Joiz.

Although, I think you deserve someone better. I think James is good for you because you love him, but someone better is out there. And by someone better I mean someone who loves you back. We don’t know that about James. Sure, he cares for us as a friend, but you know you want something more from someone you love.

Right now, you’re also confused if you really do “love” him. Or you’ve just been single for a long time that you just want the companionship to evolve into something else because you’ve gotten desperate, because you miss that kind of relationship. Oh god, we are were so confused. I hope by the time you read this in the future, you have figured this one out.

And the point of this letter? You are a mess. Writing somewhat removes some of the clutter in your head. You’ve been through worse, but I guess you’ve moved on from that and have forgotten that. Please don’t unlearn what you’ve learned in the past. This is to remind you of where you were, again, and gauge how much you’ve grown. Oh how I hope you’ve grown – wiser at least. You know that I love you and that you deserve the best.

Joiz @ 25

2 Replies to “Letter From The Ghost of Joiz Past”

    1. LOL, I don’t know about calling this heavy stuff, this feels kind of teeny boppy even for myself sometimes. 😀

      About the confessing? I decided against it. I’m trying to move on without the confession. 🙂

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