All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France
A part of me has been dying. It has been waiting for its death since god knows when, and yet I held on to it blindly, not wanting to let go, allowing it to eat away my own life.
To others, it might have been long dead, it might never even have existed. But I held it within my grasp because I thought I could fix it. That I could bring it back from what I hope was just its slumbering state. But I concede, with only one request.
lately you’ve been cold
uncaring and unreachable
you promised to me
this love of ours won’t change
but why has it come to this?
it feels like you’ve left
you left without goodbye
you left me without telling why
am I still in your heart?
I just want you to know
my love for you hasn’t changed
will my troubled heart
be left waiting
for your promises?
what should I do?
Should I wait for you?
But why? why did you go?
will you still come back?
come back to my arms?
will I ever feel your love again?
I have been hurt before, hurt all over
and I think my heart will no longer mend
I have found solace in being alone
for there is no one to turn to. I can’t depend.
I’ve given up on love, I’ve given up on “us”
given up on finding joy and completion
They say I’m strong but I’m not
Sometimes I also need love and attention
You found me, and taught me to smile again
You made me feel different, made me new
And in time you opened my heart to love
You became special, I learned to love you
You took care of me, pampered me,
comforted me and made me smile
You told me you love me,
gave me attention, even for a while