Complex Atypical Hyperplasia, Having Hysterectomy, and My Recovery So Far

It has exactly been a month since my Total Hysterectomy, and I thought I’d just add my own tales to the numerous stories about hysterectomy out there in the web. Fair warning, there’d be a lot of “girl talk” going on and I might go into a lot of details that might be TMI to some of you. So if you’re squeamish about talking about menstrual cycles, the female reproductive system, surgery and bleeding in general, it might be better to just close this window and open Netflix and watch some Brooklyn Nine-Nine or My Little Ponies.

Nightmares and ‪Stuff of horror movies

Hearing your only daughter call out to you from downstairs but you are also hugging a sleeping form of the same daughter beside you.‬

I have trouble sleeping at night (and then it’s too hot to sleep during the daytime. What is worse is when I start having dreams while I am still half awake. These hypnagogic dreams or hallucinations torment me and tonight’s was one of the more chilling ones.

🙁 I just want to get some rest.

The Case of the Lost Sausage Roll

I am tired. It’s 11am on the first day of the month, I’m still at home and I need to get back to the office to perform month-end (February) activities.

It feels like I haven’t slept the whole February. My statement is an exaggeration, but it is how “this” feels like.

“This” being awake most nights supporting this and that, having calls for this and that, and now pulling another all-nighter and working until 9am for this and that.

“This” being someone who still needs to do some chores because hello, mother to a 10 year old, and I have no nannies or helpers at home. Why do I torture myself like so.

How Do We Recover From The Long Silence?

I have been away, constantly telling myself and you that I’ll be back soon, only to break that promise time and time again.

How do I pick up the momentum now that the relationship with you is dead? Do I serenade you, dance for you, attempt to make myself irresistible so you’d come to me? Do I start talking about my life over the last few years and pretend the gap never happened? How do I even talk to you? I don’t even know what you’re supposed to be.

Who’s a Netflix Addict? *Points to Self*

I was hoping to write something over the weekend, but I got sucked into the blackhole that is Netflix (I did other stuff aside from Netflix, I swear! #defensive #multitask). While I did have a copy of 12 Monkeys since November last year, I only started to binge watch the TV series this Saturday. So far so good. I haven’t finished catching up, but I like what I’ve seen. I’ve finished a few Netflix-owned TV series too, A Series of Unfortunate Events was one of the latest, Santa Clarita Diet, and then some movies… But yeah, right now 12 Monkeys is my drug.

The First 24 Hours on the Road to (Data) Recovery

Earlier this year or maybe even late last year, I have been experiencing problems with my desktop. It takes forever to load OS, if at all. I get BSOD half of the time its on, trying to open files takes forever and pretty much the desktop has become unreliable.

And while I have a personal laptop and a work laptop, there is something about working on a desktop that makes it feel more substantial. So I said to myself, I’d have to get things up and running before the first half of this year ends.

Late Night Brainfarts #03132016

11pm:

I miss your steak and fries, but not the weather.

Ok, maybe a little of the weather, because my gosh, I’m melting here.

I can really do with the 16-18 degrees, though not really the negatives & single digit temps.

I also miss the beach.

I should move out of Manila or something.

The Irrational Things We Do On Facebook To Make Others Feel Bad (And Eventually Like Us)

An adaptation of Bethany Rose’s prose

I went through a phase of doing things on Facebook so that my ex could see that I was having fun.

Living life for an imagined reaction of someone who used to make me feel like the sun is the most messed up thing I’ve ever done.

However, I don’t think that it is possible these days to enjoy doing anything without being seen.

3 a.m. thoughts

Have I lost it completely?
 
Is this what a mid life crisis looks like?
 
Why am I actually chasing this fantasy? Is it sexual exploration or am I going mad?
 
Am I just bored or do I have a thing for ruining things for others while digging my own hole as well?